being aware that your behavior is shaped by childhood experiences is so cringe every time i notice it im like ooo look at her can’t even get over what someone told him when she was 7. grow up
what are you even supposed to do when youre angry. cant scream at anyone cos im not a dick. cant break anything cos i paid money for that. cant rip my hair out cos i need it on my head. literally what now
don’t ask me why it took three years after it’s release for mirrorball to finally gut me with a knife but now i’m just thinking of “i’ll get you out on the floor… shimmering beautiful… and when i break its in a million beautiful pieces” is so fucking heavy and just the idea of having your self worth tied to how others view and perceive you and even if you fall and crash you’re still something to them to look at and marvel… even in your worst moments people still look at you for entertainment and joy and that’s so awful cause you’re at your lowest and no one will even help pick you up but is that worse than them just not watching? when all you wanted was to be wanted and now suddenly no one wants you or even looks at you to see a reflection of them they like in you but not actually you because you’ll change yourself to fit in anywhere so you don’t even know who you really are anymore
i love having friends with favorite colors & shit so i can just send them random crap like yess this is pink ill show it to the pink friend this has a fish ill show it to the fish friend. fish is a color btw
